What we're reading: When Things Fall Apart

-By Lisa

Buddhists can be downers.

I guess this is what one Amazon.com reviewer meant when she included the helpful tip that you shouldn’t read this book if you are suicidal, because it could make you want to kill yourself.

But for me - mostly mentally stable and with regular joe problems -  I found it to be a very uplifting book. 

Pema Chodron is an American Buddhist nun. While I am a sucker for anything that the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh have to say, I was interested in hearing from a western woman about Buddhist thought. Before I read the book, I watched a few of Chodron’s talks on Youtube. I immediately liked her straightforward, non-flowery persona. She begins one of her speeches with “I became a Buddhist because I hated my husband.” I knew this was going to be a little different.

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times delves into some intense concepts, but Chodron puts them in a simple context for those of us who are just interested in just getting through the day, not trying to become Buddhist scholars. There is no proselytizing of religious dogma, just the offering of a perspective on the commonalities that bond us as humans. As Buddhists (and realists of all stripes) know, pain is an inextricable part of life. Chodron presents a way to minimize the suffering involved in that pain. Death, anger and fear are universal experiences; learning to recognize, accept and manage them can bring us inner peace. 

“If we’re willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation.”  - Pema Choderon

This way of looking at the world requires taking a courageous path; the truth is scary. Personally, it’s never worked for me to turn a blind eye to the difficulties of life. It makes more sense for me to face them full on, with my honest and flawed self standing strong, rather than fearfully running away in the pathetic hope that life will never catch up with me.

I find it empowering that Chodron’s message is not restricted to times when life is falling apart, rather this idea actually allows for greater appreciation of when things are holding together quite nicely. The result is that I find those times to be even sweeter, because I’m not naively and artifically sugar coating the rest of life. 

For more from Lisa, check out www.justherejustnow.com